“Intellectual Dryness”

For the past few months, I have experienced a sort of “intellectual dryness” –metaphorically “dry” because within this period I haven’t produced any article for my blog site.  It’s like an arid land –once fertile yet now futile since it has not experienced being showered by rain for a longer period of time.  It becomes unproductive.  Though I’d tried to manage to find time to write but there’s nothing.  In the end, all I realize is that a month ends and another month begins but not even a single article is written and posted in my account.  I feel it’s a wasted time.

I don’t know if what I have experienced is the same experience our great saints in the Catholic Church confessed about the “dryness of the soul.”  They spent much time praying; prayer became the center of their life for years.  Yet, there were some moments in their prayer life when they felt bored, or maybe when they didn’t feel any longer God’s presence in their prayer.  They felt the “dryness” of their soul.  They felt the absence of God.  Eventually, they quit praying.  Some scholars would interpret this experience of the “dryness of the soul” of the great saints as the peak moments of their prayer life.  This “peak moment” is somehow understood as getting on top of the mountain after a long and winding journey but there’s nothing on the top.  Just like in prayer, great saints like John of the Cross earnestly prayed to God but when they almost got near to God in their prayers, God is nowhere to be found.

In those experiences, disappointment is given.  It's really disappointing when one dedicates his life in a certain work like in writing articles or in prayer yet after all it's not rewarding.  But, those saints who experienced the "dryness of the soul" are still able to find consolations in their moments of desperation since it is in this moment of "dryness" that God will finally satisfy the earnest longing of their hearts -that is, to go back to the bosom of the Father.  My experience of "intellectual dryness," however, is different since my disappointments are clearly coming from the fact that posting philosophical articles in my blogsite is not rewarding -of course, financially.  It's a waste of time.  I spend time in writing yet there is no monetary remuneration.  My only consolation is in the thought that in a way I am enhancing my writing skills in the process, and in the long run I may be able to publish a book about philosophy in the days to come.

One time in my philosophy class, a student asked me, "Sir, is a philosopher paid -better paid?"  This question struck me and disturbed my thought for a while.  It's undeniably true that writing about philosophy is not extravagantly paid.  In fact, a trained philosopher doesn't have any place on earth to get employed except in colleges or universities.  Any commercial or industrial company has no place for philosophers in its place of work.  Philosophers' skills in philosophizing or in playing with ideas do not have any practical purpose to run the business, to manage people in the workplace, or maximize profits of the company.  Philosophers may even run counter with company's main goal in doing business, which is to earn and maximize profits because they are fun of toying ideas like justice, equality and fairness.  A philosopher may instead talk of justice, equality and fairness rather than talk of how to earn and maximize profits for the company.

With such question, I came to rethink of my intention in writing philosophical articles.  Likewise, I polish once more my understanding of the role of philosophers played in living a more meaningful life.  After all, life is not all about making money.  We aim for some higher aspirations in life like philosophical ventures than just earn a living.